I'm Kristin Kembel
What's up Girlfriend!
Owner of Girlboss Designer. We help brave women combine design and marketing to build meaningful brands online, so they can make an incredible living doing what they love.
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Why is it so scary to ask for what we want?
What we want out of a job, what we want out of a relationship, what we want out of our life?!
We fear asking for what we want because we fear rejection.
Your boss might say no to the raise you’re asking for. That person might not return the same feelings you have for them. People might tell you your goals are too out there and you should probably “be more practical”. *GAG*, that last one literally churns my insides. If I’d listened to all the people saying I should be more practical and go a safer, more secure route – I wouldn’t have left a job I no longer wanted without something else lined up, I wouldn’t have traveled internationally paying my way as I worked remotely with no savings, I wouldn’t have followed love across the world and probably wouldn’t have created this business yet.
The funny thing is we’re scared to be rejected by asking for what we want, but by not asking for it we’re not getting it anyways! We are rejecting ourselves by not going for what it is we truly want.
Asking for what we want takes courage and bravery – but it gets easier. The less we focus on acceptance from others and the more we focus on accepting ourselves – crazy dreams and all – the happier and more fulfilled we will be.
Yes Oprah, yes! When in doubt call Oprah, right?
I remember reading this quote to myself before asking for a raise – multiple times. And guess what – one time it went great! We were on the same page and I got that raise. The other time – I was REJECTED. Yep, the answer to me asking for what I wanted (and knew I deserved) was a big fat NO. It happens, but it’s not the end. That moment propelled me to start making drastic changes in my life, because deep down I wanted something else more than I wanted that raise. I wanted a completely different lifestyle, something totally different than that safe/secure 9-5 life.
These moments of rejection are part of the game, and sometimes they’re the moments that propel us to create the best version of ourselves.