Ever catch yourself always saying you’re “too busy”?
Too busy to socialize. Too busy to cook. Too busy to exercise. Too busy to spend quality time with your loved ones. Too busy to text/call someone back. Too busy to care for yourself. Too busy to just stop. Too busy to appreciate. Too busy to listen. Too busy to disconnect. Too busy to make the things that are ACTUALLY important in life important again.
We’ve all been there, but how do we stop this cycle?
What are we all chasing?
Recently I’ve been going through a period of growth in my business, and while it’s exciting the increase in activity has caused me to fall behind in certain areas. I’ve been trying to play catch up and find myself feeling too “busy” to think about anything else. This weekend we went on a little couple’s night away with some friends, just 1.5 hours down the coast. Part of me felt guilty for going, like I should have been working all weekend to “catch up”, but I also know better than to attempt to work 7 days a week. We need breaks. We need time to recoup. During breakfast before heading home the next day our friend asked me if I was going to get some work done later, and I considered it. I told him well its tempting – it’s so easy when we don’t have a set schedule to just work work work when there is nothing else we HAVE to be doing. But I said I was really going to try not to, and take the rest of the day off.
After returning home we unpacked, did little chores around the house and watched some Netflix together on the couch. I started scrolling through social media on my phone mindlessly, then made myself put the phone on the other side of the house away from me. I opened my laptop for a few minutes but then closed it, reminding myself to stop and allow my mind be open to other things besides the temporary relief of answering another email. I put on a sweater and went outside to the balcony with a book. I’ve had this book for a few years, but for whatever reason hadn’t even gotten through the first section. It became one of my “decorative” office books, but for some reason I picked it up and decided to dive back in.
The book is called Make it Happen by Lara Casey, and while relaxing outside this paragraph really stuck out to me:
Why are we running through life with “busy” as a badge of honor, or a measure of success?
Why are we constantly chasing this ideal, seemingly perfect life?
I fully believe in working hard to accomplish your goals, but I also believe in balance. We’ve heard so many stories of others who lost themselves in work and in business, and before they knew it the other areas of their lives all were suffering greatly. I feel I am okay at creating balance, but lately I found myself feeling guilty for it… like I was being selfish in a way. Even while sitting outside reading that book earlier, part of me felt guilty for some weird reason. In reality, the more we care for ourselves, for our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our souls, the more we are able the give back to others. But by giving more, I mean more quality, not necessarily quantity. I want the amount of time I spend working to be spent thoughtfully, to be getting me towards my greater purpose. I want to be present in my life, not constantly being focused on the next best thing, or on this made up better future.
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of shares on social media about these “women with the most net-worth” or the “top successful women” but all measured by dollar signs. It’s presented in a way that says “this is the ultimate goal, this is what we should be striving for, this is what will fulfill us”.
I think the truly successful women aren’t’ the ones driving the fancy cars, living in huge homes, showing their worth with designer labels or having a team of people waiting on their every need. I think the most successful women are the ones who actually feel content with what they have, who have actual balance in their lives, who stay true to themselves and who are not swayed by the superficial standards of our world.
Now when I picture a successful life for myself it’s not filled with glamorous events, the most on-trend wardrobe, or gaining fame. Instead it’s living near the ocean, having the flexibility to balance 2 lives on opposite sides of the world, enjoying long talks with family and friends in the middle of the week, watching a sunset with the one I love and appreciating what we have and how good life can be.
So ask yourself, what are you busying yourself with that doesn’t really matter in the big picture? What areas of your life are you letting yourself ignore, because it’s easier to busy yourself with other things. A lot of time the things we start to ignore are the MOST important – relationships, true connection, health, and actually letting your mind rest. Is it worth it? Is checking off that little thing on your todo list or being jealous of someone else’s life on social media worth ignoring all the wonderful and real things happening in your own life?