Self care has become a trendy discussion topic lately.
Apparently no one’s doing enough of it and we should all be taking baths, drinking tea, drinking hot drinking lemon water, calling our moms, going on walks and getting pedicures.
Let me just tell you – this is NOT what we’ll be talking about today.
The TRUTH is – self care is going to vary SO MUCH from person to person.
Self care is just doing whatever works for you and your lifestyle to stay healthy and mentially sane.
It’s taking care of yourself enough so you can then also give to others.
Oftentimes we give give give – give to our work, our family, our community, and forget to take care of ourselves in the process. The problem with this is the more empty we become the less QUALITY we are able to give.
Not taking care of ourselves leaves us feeling depleted and worn down, instead of feeling inspired and excited. The more we fill ourselves up – the more we can give to the world.
But the thing is “taking care of ourselves” isn’t always pretty.
It doesn’t always show up as a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine.
Oftentimes, self care doesn’t feel like pampering AT ALL.
Sometimes it’s really freaking hard.
Sometimes it means dealing with our own baggage.
It can be exhausting, uncomfortable and sweaty.
And yes I just said sweaty.
What exactly you choose to do for self care is yours alone to decide, but there are the 3 important areas to focus on which we will talk through today.
- Taking care of your health and your body
- Taking care of your Mind *THIS ONE IS HUGE*
- Taking care of your inner self & your heart
#1 – Our Health and Bodies
I am not going to talk TOO much about this bc I want to focus more on the other areas, but we can’t talk self care without addressing this. Self care when it comes to your health means being conscious of what you’re putting in your body on a regular basis and making time for physical activity.
Here’s the thing – you don’t need to go paleo, or go on some crazy diet. If you’re like me – you like food, a lot. Haha, it’s okay to get enjoyment from food, we just don’t want to be using food as a way to deal with our emotions. That only leads to overeating, and usually overeating all the stuff that is horrible for us.
We just have to be aware of what we’re eating, that we’re getting enough of the healthy stuff, and just enjoy the not-so-good things in moderation.
Now for your fitness – this is what I meant when I say self care can be sweaty! You might hate working out. You might be so far removed from it at this point that it sounds like hell to even think about. But it is a MUST when it comes to self care and being our best selves. Plus, it gets easier – and you start to really crave it. I will put my hand up in that area – sometimes I am hating my life in a workout haha but afterward, it feels so good. You get that boost of endorphins and it allows you to be more focused and energized.
It is not selfish to block time out in your schedule to workout and be active. It’s easy for us to cop out and say we’re just too busy, but there is always a way to make time for it, if it’s important enough to you.
Bottom line – eat right most of the time and find some type of physical activity that works for you.
#2 – Taking Care of Our MINDS
I’m really excited to talk about this because it is often overlooked. We spend so much time working on WORK or other areas of our lives but how often do you actually pay attention to your own thoughts and how you talk to yourself?
This is the base for EVERYTHING.
Our thoughts drive our feelings and our feelings in turn oftentimes drive our actions.
So what’s going on in your head right now?
Are you constantly doubting yourself? Talking yourself out of things?
Are you punishing yourself by being too fixated on the past?
Are you telling yourself you’re not good enough?
Not good enough at your job, not a good enough partner, mom or friend?
Are you telling yourself horrible stories about your partner over and over?
Are you talking yourself into settling for less because you’re just scared of the unknown?
THIS MATTERS. The things we tell ourselves on a daily basis matter a LOT.
Our minds are hardwired to look for problems to solve – so it’s constantly creating problems and amplifying things. That’s what it does!
The good news is – you can be more in control of the thoughts swirling around in our heads.
It’s time to pay attention so you can change the story.
We are all only human and we all make mistakes. But it’s not okay to let them haunt you for years to come.
It’s time to start telling yourself you CAN do it – whatever it is you’re scared to do.
That you ARE good enough.
That you’re beautiful and unique in your own way.
That you are worthy and you are important.
That you deserve better.
Imagine if this is how you talk to yourself everyday? How would that make you feel? And then – how would you act because of it?
I would bet you’d start to be a hell of a lot happier and more confident. You’d strive for me because you believe in yourself
It’s time to be nicer to ourselves and to believe in ourselves every day. This all starts with our mind.
#3 – Taking Care of our INNER SELVES & OUR HEARTS
When I’m talking about your inner self – I mean the one that exists beyond your brain – past all the worry, the stress, and the feelings of how things “should be”.
That inner self of yours is the one that dreams without worrying about being realistic. The one with the ideas and that’s filled with passion and love.
This is the one that can easily get overlooked – because we get carried away in a life of busyness and people pleasing.
We forget to stop and listen to that inner voice and intuition. We often lose the ability to even recognize it.
This is when we can find ourselves confused about what we even want out of life – what is our purpose and what are we even passionate about.
I’ve always been very big on following my intuition. Every time I’ve ignore it in the past and made choices against it – I quickly felt regretful and having to reroute my direction the way I knew should have been.
Following my intuition has led me to lean into opportunities, to take risks with my career, to leave relationships that weren’t right, to do seemingly crazy things like follow a boyfriend to Australia. The funny thing about deciding to move here is I knew immediately I was going to do it – from that little feeling inside. But then I had to convince my brain and others around me of the idea.
The thing is, as helpful and amazing as our brains are – they oftentimes confuse us. We start over thinking and talking ourselves out of things. They make us worry way too much in general, and make us focus too much on what other people might think.
But you can’t go wrong with following your inner self and your heart.
It’s that the little warm feeling inside that shows you you’re on the right path – or gives you that little pit in your stomach when something’s not right.
It’s what reassures you that even though things aren’t the best right now – you know they’ll get better.
It can guide you in so many ways – in making decisions with your life partner, your career, your family, your health.
It’s the one that says “leave him and move on” when your head is making excuses for him.
It’s the one that says “you’re a great mom” when your head gives you a hard time for working too much and not being able to be there for every little moment.
It’s the one that says “you CAN be successful on your own” when your head goes on and on about how hard it is to start your own business.
It’s the one that says “just let it go” when your head wants to stay mad at your partner as a way of punishment to them. But in reality we are also punishing ourselves too.
It’s the one that says “go to the gym” when your head says “I don’t have time or I don’t feel like it”.
It’s the one that says “everything will be okay in the end” when your head wants to focus on all the bad things happening around you.
This is why taking care of your connection to your inner self is such an important part of self care.
I think this is what people really mean when they say “go take a walk or drink some tea, or meditate”.
What we really need to say is do whatever works for you to pause from the busyness we create around us, and reconnected to that person inside – the one that exists past all the obligations and the overthinking.
Do you feel in touch with yours?
Alright guys – I hope this episode has helped you clear out all the self care noise so you can focus on what REALLY matters when it comes to taking care of yourself.